Here are my top 2 favorites for news Fools:
Surgeon to Make Sarkozy Five Inches Taller — http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article983556.ece
The London Sun, the most entertaining newspaper in the English language, reports that Israeli researcher "Ura Schmuck" plans to use "Stature Augmentation Treatment" to stretch out notably wee French President Nicolas Sarkozy so that he will be taller than his Italian supermodel wife Carla Bruni. French government spokesman "Luc Biggér" said the difficult process would be carried out at the "the Poisson D'Avril Medical Centre in Geneva."
The London Sun, the most entertaining newspaper in the English language, reports that Israeli researcher "Ura Schmuck" plans to use "Stature Augmentation Treatment" to stretch out notably wee French President Nicolas Sarkozy so that he will be taller than his Italian supermodel wife Carla Bruni. French government spokesman "Luc Biggér" said the difficult process would be carried out at the "the Poisson D'Avril Medical Centre in Geneva."
and as my ultra favorite:
BURGER KING INTRODUCES LEFT-HANDED WHOPPERS
Burger King UK today announced the launch of its latest salvo in the battle of the Burger Wars - the new left-handed Whopper - which will become available nation-wide tomorrow April 1.
The UK's most preferred hamburger will still consist of lettuce, onions, pickles, mayonnaise, ketchup and four-ounce flame-grilled hamburger patty, but the sandwich has been re-designed to fit more comfortably in the left hand. This will result in fewer condiment 'spills' for left-handed hamburger lovers.
The new Left-Handed Whopper will have all the condiments rotated 180 degrees, thereby redistributing the weight of the sandwich so that the bulk of them skew to the left.
"We have always been proud of the fact that we offered 1,024 ways to order our flagship Whopper sandwich, now we are offering 1,025 ways! It's the ultimate 'Have It Your Way' for our left-handed customers," says Lorraine Thomson, Marketing Director for Burger King UK.
The Left Handed Club estimates that nearly 11 million left-handed customers visit Burger King restaurants in the UK each year. Lauren Milsom from the Club comments: "We are delighted that Burger King has recognised the difficulties of holding a hamburger in your left hand that has a natural right bias to it. We urge all left handed hamburger lovers to visit their nearest Burger King and taste the difference for themselves."
Initially, the Left-Handed Whopper will only be available in the UK, however Burger King is considering plans to roll it out to other countries with large left handed populations.
Notes to Editors:
Burger King UK and its franchisees operate 527 restaurants around the country and more than 10,000 restaurants in 53 countries and international territories around the world. In fiscal year 1998, Burger King had system-wide sales of $10.3 billion. Burger King UK is a subsidiary of Diageo plc, one of the world's leading branded consumer products businesses.
Burger King UK today announced the launch of its latest salvo in the battle of the Burger Wars - the new left-handed Whopper - which will become available nation-wide tomorrow April 1.
The UK's most preferred hamburger will still consist of lettuce, onions, pickles, mayonnaise, ketchup and four-ounce flame-grilled hamburger patty, but the sandwich has been re-designed to fit more comfortably in the left hand. This will result in fewer condiment 'spills' for left-handed hamburger lovers.
The new Left-Handed Whopper will have all the condiments rotated 180 degrees, thereby redistributing the weight of the sandwich so that the bulk of them skew to the left.
"We have always been proud of the fact that we offered 1,024 ways to order our flagship Whopper sandwich, now we are offering 1,025 ways! It's the ultimate 'Have It Your Way' for our left-handed customers," says Lorraine Thomson, Marketing Director for Burger King UK.
The Left Handed Club estimates that nearly 11 million left-handed customers visit Burger King restaurants in the UK each year. Lauren Milsom from the Club comments: "We are delighted that Burger King has recognised the difficulties of holding a hamburger in your left hand that has a natural right bias to it. We urge all left handed hamburger lovers to visit their nearest Burger King and taste the difference for themselves."
Initially, the Left-Handed Whopper will only be available in the UK, however Burger King is considering plans to roll it out to other countries with large left handed populations.
Notes to Editors:
Burger King UK and its franchisees operate 527 restaurants around the country and more than 10,000 restaurants in 53 countries and international territories around the world. In fiscal year 1998, Burger King had system-wide sales of $10.3 billion. Burger King UK is a subsidiary of Diageo plc, one of the world's leading branded consumer products businesses.
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