I normally don't watch Jimmy Kimmel or Sarah Silverman ...BUT...
THIS is very very funny....(foul language alert)
PS.You have to watch the clip to understand why there's a picture of Matt Damon and Ben Affleck .
...
Friday, February 29, 2008
Thursday, February 28, 2008
How do we Cope now?
I guess you have to be a Pittsburgher to understand how sad we are to have lost Myron Cope.
I have attached his obit for you, dear readers, in case you want to read it.
In a strange way, Myron is responsible for the jumpstart of my voice-over career.
It was my first of many encounters with him.
I was working at a studio in '81 , when in zoomed Myron, with his ever-present cigarette (it was an exercise in futility to ever ask him to put it out). He said "Hello dearie..." and zipped downstairs to the audio booth to do a voice-over for a commercial.
When he walked back out 15 minutes later, he did a funny little strut , with his feet turned out like a duck. He looked back at me and said "You know what this is?"
"No, what?", I said, not quite sure what he meant by "what".
"This.... is the going-to-the-bank-walk.", he said as he duck-strutted out the door.
I sat in silence, running that one over and over in my head. I picked up the phone and dialed into the studio. I asked the engineer what kind of dough Myron just raked in for 15 minutes worth of rasp. He gave me his educated guess.
My eyes got big.
I decided that was the job for me.
Now, 27 years later, everytime I walk out of a studio after a voice-over session, I do the same walk and chuckle.
Thanks Myron.
...by the way, I don't really think he ever did what he did for the money, he did it because it was in his heart, he had no choice.
......
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Southwest Airlines waste removal....
Invisi-Gal is having way too much fun over this story.
Southwest Airlines is very savvy, they aired a response over YouTube!
I love Southwest Airlines...only problem is, because they have such great airfares, you have to fly next to trashy people. I think the trash should be taken out of the plane. It can get stinky.
I really don't see the problem here.
Invisi-Gal would never get in trouble in the air. Me invisible, remember?
....
Amber waves of grain...er, green....
Yippee, Invisi-Gal gets to say , "I told you so!"
I have been harping on the fact that we are the breadbasket of the world and NOW is the time to pay back the American farmer for all the garbage we have put him/her through.
The world needs our wheat, and now the price has doubled in the last month.
Our wheat, is their oil.
Unfortunately, we have to pay also.
Get ready for the billion dollar bagel.
And don't even get me started on water...
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Where have you bean?
Today, Starbucks closed, NATIONWIDE, for three hours.
They claim it was to teach their baristas better espresso technique.
I think it was a better marketing technique.
A latte fuss over nuttin'.
....
Pin Head of the Week Award
Not only is this women a Pin Head for what she did, I can't get over the amount of humiliation she has heaped on her son.
The poor kid will now forever be known as the son of Pin Head, and unfortunately any money he would ever have spent on college, will be spent on therapists instead.
....
Sunday, February 24, 2008
If it ain't broke, break it...
We are painting the bathroom today.
I say "WE" in an empirical way.
Mostly, I stay out of the fray, like sitting here blogging or rolling the masking tape around like a ball, and occasionally barking out orders.
My husband is bearing a painful expression of "Who cares what color the bathroom is, and stop rolling that tape around".
I also know the monster we are creating.
Once the paint is dry , the rest of the bathroom will look like trash and I'll want to replace the fixtures, counter top, sink and (scream) tile the floor.
Plus, numerous trips to the hardware store because we measured wrong, forgot something on the last trip, broke through a wall and ran out of caulking.....
It's better to introduce suffering in increments.
So for now, "WE" are just painting the bathroom.
....
Thursday, February 21, 2008
She-brew
This is fabulous. It's about time women come back to their just moment in religion.
In most dogma, women are not given equal shrift. That's why I like the Star of David, the symbol of feminine meets masculine equally. A complete balance of the two triangles.
Plus, it makes a gorgeous bundt cake dahlings...
....
Feed Your Head, again, it's what the dormouse said
How come everytime I take a shower I think I hear the phone ringing?
Now people will believe me when I say ,"All roads lead to Pittsburgh" :
What do you do with Grandma's mink stole that you will NEVER wear?
EVERY Invisi-Gal should know about this website and about Spanx. Free shipping all the time:
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Competition from across the aisle....
Seems Invisi-Gal has competition for ATTENTION and it comes from the most unexpected place; across the aisle!
I have, no doubt, played golf with this guy.
Seriously, love this article!
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Don't it make my Brown eyes Blue?
" It is mostly men who inherit color blindness, affecting about 1 in 20 men for every 1 in 200 women."
Then why is it always a GUY mixing your paint at the paint store?
in case you're wondering if you are colorblind, study the picture above, you should see:
top left 58,
top right 18,
bottom right 17,
bottom left E
if you get any of these wrong, you should not be mixing my paint at the paint store.
Invisi-Gal very picky when it comes to robin's egg blue.
....
Very BLUE tooth
It finally happened, the telemarketers found my cell phone number and sent me a text message.
I headed out to the website on the text, to get info on the weasels to report them, and it was a PORN site.
If you have kids, this even more important.
Do not pass go, go directly to:
and report the dirtbags,
then call your cell provider,
then go to:
and list up to 3 of your cell lines.
I got an email from my cousin about this a week ago and poo-pooed it. Dumb me. Should've known , she's 50 . Of course she would be savvy.
...You think Invisa-Gal would know better....
..
Monday, February 18, 2008
Twice a day after brushing
I am not ashamed to admit that I am an info junkie. I'm not sure what it's rooted in, but it's a deep thing in me.
Chances are if you're a blogger or a blog-voyeur, you have info issues also.
Well here's something to feed your head:
http://www.mentalfloss.com/
Chances are if you're a blogger or a blog-voyeur, you have info issues also.
Well here's something to feed your head:
http://www.mentalfloss.com/
Do you hear what I hear?
There is a concern for this generation in the twist that technology has made in their lives.
....
One of them being, the incredible lack of privacy.
Everything you did this weekend is up for review on the internet...camera phones are omnipresent and text messaging has replaced real life conversation.
The devil about it all is, that an untrue rumor can spiral out of control.
Andy Canales, student body president of Pepperdine (cool campus) in Malibu, Ca. has the same concern. He gives me hope for the future. Good to see someone out there is thinking on their feet and considering the days ahead:
....
Friday, February 15, 2008
The reign on Jane stays mostly on insane
The C word makes me cringe like a snail on salt.
It just makes sense that Jane-here's-another-reason-to-hate-me-Fonda would say it while people are trying to keep down their breakfast:
If I were a bettin' Gal...
Since the "educated"guess from NASA is that it could fall anywhere in, oh, North America, what were the odds it would've hit Pittsburgh?
AND now that they are going to vaporize it, what are the odds they miss.
Isn't anyone making book on this one?
Tead Off...
Okay, first of all I am a creature of habit in the sense that I like things MY WAY.
Meaning, I need my Constant Comment Green Tea in the morning.
I like that particular brand and flavor because it has FLAVOR , let's face it, green tea tastes like someone steeped up a leaf of nothing, 'kay?
After an exhaustive search of supermarkets I hit the motherlode at a local Giant Eagle. Now I must tell you, I hate this location because it's parking lot is like the bumper car ride at Kennywood with senior citizens and it's so massive you need a passport to get from the bakery section to the meat section.
But I go there because they carry Constant Comment Green Tea.
Until three weeks ago.
I waltzed up to the Bigelow tea section ready to pluck my CCGT from the shelf and to my cranky amazement, they had NINE MILLION types of green tea but not my CCGT.
I stood there for about 10 minutes thinking that maybe I could make it appear with sheer I -can't-believe-this-shit-will.
Hey, are you at the part where you think, "who the hell cares about tea so much" yet?
Goood, then I go on....
SO I ask the young stocker babe nearby "Aren't you guys carrying Constant Comment Green tea anymore?".
She gives me the look like I could almost be invisible, as in, you're too old to have have a cool purse like that kinda thing.
She goes over to the teas, looks at the NINE MILLION types of green tea and says in a most dissmissive tone "I'll bring it up at the meeting tomorrow".
TO which I replied, "You guys have meetings about stuff like that?"
She just kept walking away.
I felt like a chump with a cool purse.
The next time I was there , no CCGT.
So I ordered online from the Bigelow website, you have to by a case of it. http://www.bigelowtea.com/
My UPS guy had to walk up our 500 foot ice covered driveway to deliver it.
I had to clear out space in my pantry to store it.
I was at the Giant Eagle today buying my other mania, Static Guard (Please God, don't let them run out of THAT) and there on the Bigelow Shelf was about 20 boxes of CCGT.
They really do have meetings about stuff like that.
...
Midnight maid....
I love Valentine's Day, everyone softens up a bit. We need it.
We went out for a nice dinner, but what I REALLY loved was the dessert. It was a spoonful of vanilla gelato in a champagne glass with espresso poured over top of it. I'm having a glycemic index moment just writing about it.
When we got home, as we took the dog outside for a run, our son shoveled a big path shaped as a heart on our driveway. We made it our personal Labyrinth, and walked the "heart line" under the moon light.
Such a nice way to end the day. Hallmark card style.
Oh and yup, I was speeding my brains out from the espresso all night, but it was worth it ( I was dusting the lamps at midnight).
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
It would break my heart, if they weren't...
Oh God, it came down like a ton of bricks today.
It happens that way, doesn't it ?
Unexpected, an uneasy energy swirling about the snowy sky, and then it zeros in on you.
There, in the supermarket, at the checkout.
I'm in a hurry, I rushed my son through the store, we were on a tight schedule. I'm practically throwing my groceries up on the conveyor belt, let's go, let's go.
I hardly noticed the elderly man in front of me (other than he was taking ENTIRELY too long), and then I hear him ask the cashier, in a voice so soft, "Do you have a boyfriend?".
WE both size him up, as women do, to see if he's crossing a line or is he just making polite conversation, mercifully it was the latter.
"Yes , I do, and I have a son" the cashier answers, her voice softening to match his.
Encouraged and happy to not be pushed away, this slightly rumpled man with a three day growth of beard, (has his wife passed, or is she ill and he's taking care of her?) says "Make sure he treats you right, we are defined by who we choose to keep in close company."
He continues to talk about his 5 children , they are all far away from their native Pittsburgh, transplants to Denver and Colorado Springs and California.
The cashier and I , in total unison, engage this lonely human being. We chat, but mostly we listen to him.
Time is suspended.
Somewhere in the back of my mind, I think ,this may be his only contact with people today.
My son can't figure out what happened to the mother who was in such a frenzied race moments ago, and uses the time to inspect the candy display and plot a purchase.
Moving through the conversation, I was impressed by this young woman behind the register, so sweet and patient with this elderly adult and so in tune with the situation.
It was a perfect act of kindness.
As I walked away, it hit me like a ton of bricks.
I thought of the times before we moved my mom to Pittsburgh to spend her final years. She was so fiercely independent, insisting on doing it all herself , until her diabetic feet betrayed her.
When she was in the supermarket back home, were they nice to her? When she slowed down the line to have a meandering chat about her children, were they kind and patient ?
God, I hope so.
...
Test your brain...
Okay all you smarty pants out there, here's a great test.
Do it when you are totally alone, because if someone asks for mac and cheese, or the phone rings ,or the dog barks, you're screwed:
...
Winning by an inch...give or take 7
I usually don't blog about politics, and this really isn't so much about politics as it is about PERSPECTIVE. So, in view of the recent political landscape:
Barack Obama is 6 feet 2 inches
John McCain is 5 feet 7 inches.
Based on perspective, who looks stronger , more virile, and capable of leading the free world?
Believe it or not, many Americans decisions are based on such things...
Republicans need to show more photos of McCain with his hot young wife.
Democrats need to show Obama towering over McCain and refer to him as "Wee John".
Republicans need to show more photos of McCain with his hot young wife.
Democrats need to show Obama towering over McCain and refer to him as "Wee John".
I smell some podium tampering at the future presidential debates.
....
Chipping away, week one...
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Victory is mine for week one of the Betcha Can't Eat Just None Lent.
That's right , I gave up chips and dip for Lent (I'm not Catholic, but possess same amount of guilt).
I have hit the one week mark.
There have been moments, but I replaced the cravings with kicking and screaming.
I'm all better now.
...
This ain't no UnderDog...
This is Uno.
He won Best in Show at the Westminster Kennel Club Show Tuesday night.
You know why?
Because each time he won his division , he bayed, whooped into the air in abject celebration.
When he won Best in Breed, Woooo...Best in Group, Woooo....Best In Show, Wooo...
He stole the hearts of everyone watching.
He should have a cape!
Just like Invisa-Gal and Martha Stewart.
He won Best in Show at the Westminster Kennel Club Show Tuesday night.
You know why?
Because each time he won his division , he bayed, whooped into the air in abject celebration.
When he won Best in Breed, Woooo...Best in Group, Woooo....Best In Show, Wooo...
He stole the hearts of everyone watching.
He should have a cape!
Just like Invisa-Gal and Martha Stewart.
...
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Groundhog knows best...
This is today's view outside my window. We have a snow day! Which means hot chocolate and ear plugs are in order.
Pittsburgh is quiet under this blanket of snow.
Punxy Phil was right on the money.
...
Monday, February 11, 2008
Blake Incarcerated...
My thoughts on the 50th Annual Grammy Awards:
Alicia Keyes is the future
John Mayer should marry Alicia Keyes, produce wunder music spawn
Tina Turner rocks, however bad, bad, outfit
Good to see the Beatles get some recognition by their peers, even if it was just Ringo
Crack smoking Brit wins big, gives a shout out to Blake Incarcerated
Kayne West arrogant so and so,turns mother's death into sympathy gig
Vince Gill, veteran winner gives shout out to Kayne and puts sphincter on his ego
Carrie Underwood ignored, uh , why?
Herbie Hancock finally NOT ignored
Kid Rock , fool, was shown up in duet by 75 year old Keely Smith
I really love Tony Bennett
Foo fighters give good foo
Brad Paisley, high cringe factor for country music
AND lastly,
Jason Bateman?
Sunday, February 10, 2008
Because You're Mine, I pulled the Twine...
Click on this video to watch...
...Are you familiar with Post Secret? Here's the link: http://postsecret.blogspot.com/
My husband has done a few of their videos , he edits and does motion graphics (when he's not a percussionist). The music is by our friends, Donora:http://www.myspace.com/donora
This was a special video made for Valentines Day , I say enjoy it all week!
....
Saturday, February 9, 2008
Hail to the Chimp...
I never would have thought of the solution this Chimp employs,(see link to clip below) therefore I feel strangely inferior to my simian friend.
He probably is better at algebra too.
So, the difference in our intelligence would be, that I am the one who knows you'll actually never use algebra.
However, he'll be the one with the peanut.
Watch this clip:
.....
Friday, February 8, 2008
Mr.Barky Bark Schnauzer
I recently had a brush with what I thought was identity theft. Turned out it was a case of MISTAKEN identity and the interchange of one or two of my social security numbers.
Encouraged by the police, I decided to run a credit report on myself. In Pennsylvania, you get one free report a year....www.freecreditreport.com...I just wanted to make sure no one was doing anything un-kosher. Like trying to buy free ham.
So how strange was it, to find my credit report included quite a few mega mortgages and loans, all in perfectly good shape, by some uber-wealthy attorney in Nashville (my favorite place on earth).
I hope I don't hurt HIS chance of good credit.
Anyway, my point is (I never get there fast enough, do I?) that it can happen to anyone.
Even a dog:
....
Forget about that Ant and the Rubber Tree Plant...
The Native Americans hold the turtle in high esteem:
" It teaches to go with the flow and be happy with the pace that your life is taking. Do not try to push it faster than is natural or you may reach your destination too early and feel you missed something along the way. Turtle teaches to try and enjoy the journey as much as the final achievement."
Flow on little turtle, check this out:
....
Our Lady of Lost Tweezers
Okay, far be it from me to tell Madonna what to do, BUT, how soon will it be before SOMEONE makes very mean fun of the fact that her daughter (of the unyielding name, Lourdes)
has a serious uni-brow, in the puberty making.
Mama Madonna should have instructed one of her many minions to wax that puppy up so her young daughter doesn't have to deal with nastier folks than Moi.
....
Thursday, February 7, 2008
Think Again...
"One thing we do know:
Life will give you whatever experience is most helpful for the evolution of your consciousness. How do you know this is the experience you need?
Because this is the experience you are having at this moment."
Eckhart Tolle
...
Don't Bother, Father
There are some people out there you expect will be rude to you; overindulged teenagers, spoiled athletes, government workers , anyone who owes you money, etc.
Some people are literally marked by their uniforms (required dress) and therefore you can make a level judgement , an educated guess, if you will ,on how they may act in a social situation.
Then tell me why, when I was walking out of Starbucks today with my arms filled with a tray of coffee and hot chocolate and cookies ( a surprise for my son at school pickup) did the PRIEST who was walking in the door at the same moment, whisk by me and allow the door to slam in my Episcopalian face?
Was this an Invisa-Gal moment?
Almost immediately, a random GENTLEMAN nearby, jumped up and held the door for me.
My first thought (well not exactly my first thought) was, "Good thing you guys can't get married, you would drive your wives to Prozac and online poker."
My second thought was, " I bet he gave up coffee for Lent and he's caving already."
....
Royal Watching
Charming, love this.
You no longer need to wonder what the Queen is doing today.
Would someone tell that redhead on the left , that he's missing the action?
....
Do not try this on the Parkway
A popular thing to do when visiting India , is to set up a camera in your hotel room (it's not what you think) and video tape the TRAFFIC in the streets below.
It's fascinating.
I get the same sensation watching fish move about an aquarium,
or a flock of starlings, swarming.
How do they do it?
We could never do this in Pittsburgh.
....
Rodent Rules...
It's the Chinese Year of the Rat. Apparently, we need to get with the program:
"Something intriguing about Rat years is that at first they appear to bode only wealth and bounty. But such glittering harvests are merely the calm before the storm and hunger pangs of future shortages. Nobody will be spared. Already in February, inflation will be on the rise. People all over the world will see their buying power diminish. My advice? Open a savings account. Plant a vegetable garden. Stash gold jewelry under your mattress. Junk the gas guzzler and buy a book of train tickets. Take the kids out of private school. Teach them at home. Learn to cook cheaper cuts of meat or eat no meat at all. Take pride in wearing handsomely patched jeans and be the first on your block to remember how to darn socks. In general, in the coming Rat year, do as the British were advised after WWII, "Make do and mend". We did it before and we can do it again. Might as well face it. Scantier days are ahead."
Sounds delightful...
....
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
Icksnay on the Ebay
&*&&*&&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&**&*&*&&*&*&*&**&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&**&I love Karastan rugs, I love to go on Ebay and find them.
It is a guilty pleasure of mine to troll Ebay looking for Karastans.
I want to stick my toes in the one in the picture (Navy Heriz #701 by the way).
It's not an over 50 thing either, I would've done this in my 20's if Ebay had been invented.
It's better than a massage or potato chips...
Okay, now the "massage and potato chip" was an over 50 thing...
....
Stupid is as Stupid does...
I don't even know where to begin...for the SECOND time this week, one of the Pittsburgh Post Gazette's FRONT page features is yet another article on high school football player Terrell Pryor and his college pick. It is complete with a reader's pol, a video,and a slideshow of his high school career, high school CAREER? The header font is larger than the article on the Governor proposing a $2.6 billion EDUCATION budget.
Pittsburgh, what the hell?
Where's the story on the kid with straight A's who wants to cure AIDS, or discover solutions to global warming...or since he's still in HIGH SCHOOL , maybe he can be the next mayor of Pittsburgh.
Once again, read my lips, football is not the answer. The fact that the Steelers have 5 Super Bowl rings has not managed to stop the fleeing of over half a million people from this region.
Wake up and smell the end zone.
...
Just around the Bend
It's such an over 50 thing. Eveyone tells you to do yoga. Do they say that because they think it's easy? Are they high?
It's by far the toughest exercise I know. It kicks my collective ass.
The results are quick.
I do it once or twice a week in between other exercise routines.
Make sure you breathe and try not to fart.
...
Betcha can't eat just none....
Since I was raised an Episcopalian,I consider myself a Junior Varsity Catholic. Therefore I partake in certain Catholic disciplines. Like Lent. I LOVE Lent. Every year I try to figure out what to forego in my life and replace it with "heavenly thoughts" (although it doesn't start out too heavenly).
This year it is potato chips, again.
One year I gave up swearing and watched Deadwood , endlessly, just to hear the eloquent profanity.
But this year, it's chips, especially Ruffles with Ridges and the ever present chip dip.
I'm feeling a little weak right now....I wonder if Tostitos are included in the chip category and does salsa qualify as a dip?
hmmmm...
....
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
Ass Wednesday...
After you have been at the Fat Tuesday feeding trough, you might want to spend your Ass Wednesday this way... Bring a magazine and a big pillow, fellow invisa-gals...
....
Fat Tuesday
Usually I eat like a pig on Fat Tuesday, but I FORGOT it was Fat Tuesday! What the hell?
I want to be the "after " picture just for tonight....
Actually, I'm getting a little creeped out by that fat dog, aren't you?
Maybe I should just do dessert.
....
Super Power of the Week Award...
Good God, what has this woman and her departed daughter endured? Beth Twitty never let go, she never let up,until she had no choice.
....
Feed your head...
"That's what the dormouse said..."You have to read A New Earth, very slowly:
http://www.eckharttolle.com/
New HBO series, In Treatment:
http://www.hbo.com/intreatment/
VH1 series, Free Radio:
http://www.vh1.com/shows/dyn/free_radio/series.jhtml
Great deals on lighting products, illuminate me:
http://www.thebrightspot.com/
And how was your day?
http://youtube.com/watch?v=5Mg43S_SJHk
Or, how will your day be?
http://www.georgianicols.com/daily/
keep up the good work...
Amy Winehouse should contemplate a move to Johnstown...
Bush again tries to shut Johnstown drug data center
Tuesday, February 05, 2008
The Associated Press
JOHNSTOWN, Pa. -- President Bush's proposed 2009 budget allocates $19.5 million to shut a contentious Johnstown drug intelligence center.
Mr. Bush has repeatedly tried to shut NDIC, only to be fought down by U.S. Rep. John Murtha, a Democratic powerhouse from Johnstown who heads the appropriations subcommittee on military spending.
NDIC is charged with coordinating national data on drug abuse and trafficking. Its workers recently won an award from a White House agency and were called to testify before high-level members of Mr. Bush's administration.
Critics say the center duplicates the work of other agencies.
Tuesday, February 05, 2008
The Associated Press
JOHNSTOWN, Pa. -- President Bush's proposed 2009 budget allocates $19.5 million to shut a contentious Johnstown drug intelligence center.
Mr. Bush has repeatedly tried to shut NDIC, only to be fought down by U.S. Rep. John Murtha, a Democratic powerhouse from Johnstown who heads the appropriations subcommittee on military spending.
NDIC is charged with coordinating national data on drug abuse and trafficking. Its workers recently won an award from a White House agency and were called to testify before high-level members of Mr. Bush's administration.
Critics say the center duplicates the work of other agencies.
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