7am.

OmiGod, it's my cell phone ringing....I don't want to answer it, but I'm scared not to, I just got back from visiting my father in the hospital (my sister is there now) and I'm making plans to head back, and I'm frightened they are calling to say he has passed away....

Me: "Hello?"

Caller: breathy male "What are you doing?"

Me: groggy "What?"

Caller: "What are you doing?"

By now I am searching my brain data base to recognize the voice of the caller, and I'm still groggy...but I'm getting the drift that it AIN'T THE HOSPITAL...

Me: "Who is this?" (dumb, dumb question)

Caller: "Who do you think it is?"

Me : noting his heaving breathing..."What?"

Caller: "What are you doing?"

Me: "You have the wrong number"

Caller: "I'm sorry..." CLICK.... I hang up.....

Okay, so as you have guessed, it was a would-be obscene phone call. It's been so long since I've had one, I forgot to tell the guy what an impotent voyeur he is and then whistle that loud whistle I learned at Pirate games in his sick pale ear.

Maybe the fact that he said "I'm sorry", threw me off because it could've been some guy calling his girlfriend to "wake her up" and got the wrong number...and had I been on my game and not so anxious that it was the hospital, I might have given him a great story to tell his girlfriend.

But that didn't happen, and I'm glad it wasn't the hospital, and next time I'll be sure to rock it with the whistle...and that, was my morning...how was yours?

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Sandwich generation and the truth....

It's been nearly a year and a half since my mother passed on.

Now my father is heading there.

Many of you are sandwich generation people like I am, meaning that you are taking care of your children and your parents..."sandwiched" in between the responsibilities...and it's all one big learning curve.

With raising children you learn terms like Dip/Tet vaccine and Star Wars Clone Wars, late tuition fee penalty. With your parents, it's terms like Living Will, Medicare Part D and what's a chest tube?

It jumbles around in your brain along with that Starbucks Gingersnap Latte and the latest email you received from the Giant Eagle Fuel Perks Mall and omigod is tax time that close?

How do we keep it straight and make the right decisions?

Are we doing this right? Is anyone going to figure out that we are just winging it? Is anyone going to see how scared we are?

No...we save that reveal for the quiet moment on the steps of the porch when we sit with the dog and make sure the Big Dipper is still out there in the night sky.

Tell the dog all about it...he/she won't judge you, or question your decisions...no way, that dog of yours will just sit there, staring at the stars too , wondering if the Milky Way is where Milk Bones come from.

By the way, if you have a cat, no such luck. They will not only judge you, they will view you as the inferior food-walla you are.

Stick with the dog.

Then after you bring the dog inside and eye up that Dove bar in the freezer, take comfort in the fact that your parents were once in this place, and one day your kids will be too, and nobody,

NOBODY, will ever feel they did it right.

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What's Cooking...

Here's the good news...I'm doing a small re-no on my kitchen

Now the bad news...you will have to suffer through it with me.

Oh yeah, complaining , whining, indecision...and that's just picking out the cabinets.

I have a kitchen the size of a canoe. I can't knock down any walls, so I need to be ultra smart about placement and use of space.

The dog is not happy about this.

My husband has put a chain on his wallet and connected it to his ankle.

Cabinet choices, over the range microhoods, hardware, fabrics...all decisions made in my sleep...we shall see how it all "pans" out.

Like you care....but you will Jedi, you will.

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Armchair New Year...

At 5.28 am I woke up to a searing flash of white light just outside my bedroom window.

Just as your mind races in times like that, my mind did too (how come it never does that during Jeopardy?) anyway, I though maybe the neighbor finally blew his house up with all the gasoline he stores for that stupid ATV, or for the first time in my life I wondered if Pittsburgh was being bombed...

don't laugh, our defense software division at CMU has been a terrorist target for years.

Then I heard the thunder.

I was comforted by the thunder, it's just a storm.

Then another flash of white light.

Thunder.

The lightening was dancing right outside my window.

Our son, half asleep/half awake, came in our room and asked if we were safe. I said , it's only a storm, we're safe ...I walked him back to bed.

I prowled around the house in the dark, looking out the windows, making sure a tree hadn't come down in the storm, then I sat down in my favorite chair.

This chair makes me feel safe, it has all my life.

It's an old blue velvet barrel back chair. One of a pair that was given to my grandparents as a wedding present back in the late 1920's. It's a Pullman chair, which means it was on those plush railroad cars back in the great days of train riding.My grandparents gave them to my parents, who then moved 7 times around the country, carting those chairs right along, to every split level, colonial,whatever cul de sac neighborhood.

I helped my Mom pick out the blue velvet (it was called Carol Blue, imagine that) when she reupholstered them in 1970 after the tapestry fabric had worn to the padding.

Then 4 years ago, when my mother went into the nursing home and we split up the contents of her life, I brought the chairs here.

She has since passed away and I feel close to her when I sit in these chairs.

No doubt our son will sit in it someday with his children, it'll have new fabric but the good bones will shine through.

As I sat in the chair after my "rounds", I pondered the lightening flash, the new year around the corner, and the chair that remains.

By then , the storm had passed.

I believe God speaks to us the only way we are prepared to listen. In other words if he spoke directly to you,in full voice, chances are you might be seeking medication immediately, so we are spoonfed what we can digest: symbols, metaphors, all the God favorites.

The dance of the lightening, the "comfort" of the sound of thunder, the safety of the chair. A glimpse of a cycle.

The New Year is upon us and we are excited but guardedly so because of the storm that can come.

The key is in the pair of Carol Velvet Blue Pullman chairs in the sunporch. Those chairs have seen storm after storm through year after year and they've heard all the laughter in between and just like God, they've held us safe in a loving embrace...

We're going to be alright, hey, I saw the lightening DANCE, not strike...and as I sit in the chair and write this, I can see a beautiful Pennsylvania snowfall and the sun is darting in and out of the clouds.

Perfect.

Happy New Year everyone, see you in 2009.

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Mummy Christmas....

CAIRO, Egypt — An Australian teacher who allegedly stuffed his luggage with 2,000-year old animal mummies and religious figurines wrapped as gifts was arrested Wednesday and charged with smuggling antiquities, an Egyptian airport security official said.
The 61-year teacher was heading to Thailand when a security official became suspicious of the wrapped figurines that were placed amid souvenir ceramic pots in his suitcase.
When security officials opened the case, they found two mummies of a cat and an ibis, a long-beaked bird, both dating back to 300 B.C. The confiscated collection also included 19 figurines of the revered ancient Egyptian gods of Horus and Thoth, wrapped as gifts.

...

Oh yeah...

I know, I know , this bird doesn't really do anything THAT exceptional...what is so funny is the guy singing to it. The way he says the word "penny" sends me into hysterics.
The "pop" sound the bird makes also elicits wild giggles, overall the whole thing is just soooo damn cute...plus I bet you never knew the whole lyric to this song, did ya?

A man and his bird, sometimes that's all you need for a chuckle.

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Active Denial System

I have finally beat the squirrels at their game! I have a bird feeder that denies them entrance. My life is complete and I can move on to more important things like , what does Ed Schlossberg really do?

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No longer a "fan" of DC

http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20247906,00.html?xid=rss-topheadlines

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In the air there's a feeling of Stressmass

I've seen this house and all it's lights, it's on a little one-way street. It's a sweet little neighborhood and I'm sure folks moved there because it's so private. Except for this guy.

The holidays are now marred with tons of strangers checking out the lights and a constant flash of lights in your window all night.

It's telling that he is a divorced male who's grown children don't speak to him. This display is not about Christmas spirit it is about "PAY ATTENTION TO ME!"

I have neighbors who display multiple inflatables in their yard....although this year, mercifully there has been no such Sam's Club display...they may have come to the realization that it cost money to run those monstrosities, and they have 3 kids to put through college. Imagine explaining the lack of college funds due to blowing it on lawn decorations and other stuff that really doesn't matter.

So Invisi-Gal is so glad she doesn't live near Mr. Payattentiontome, and that her neighbors just might understand Christmas is in the heart and not in the yard this year.

....

A lesson on forgiveness....

While the rest of the world is bickering over parking spaces and shooting each other over a toy at Toys R Us...this gentle man lost his family and shows forgiveness to the one who accidentally caused it.

I am in awe of this man:

A Korean immigrant whose family was killed when an F-18 crashed into his house returned home to survey the rubble and said he doesn't blame the military pilot who survived the accident.
Dong Yun Yoon, 37, lost his wife, two baby daughters and mother-in-law after a Marine Corps fighter plane clipped a tree and plummeted into houses about two miles from base. The pilot safely ejected and was rescued hanging by his parachute from a tree.
"I pray for him not to suffer for this action," Yoon said at a news conference, according to The Los Angeles Times. "I know he's one of our treasures for our country."

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Talkin' Trash...

You can start this out by saying who cares... I wouldn't blame you, but since this is MY blog, I'll tell you this story.

The last time I bought a trash can for my kitchen was over 18 years ago.....18 YEARS ago.

It was a big black thing I bought at Ways and Means, a store in Shadyside that has been gone for at least 12 years. I liked it cause it was big and black (it goes with everything)and had a lid.

My brother in law hated it. Every time he came to visit he told me to get rid of it.

His wish came true two weeks ago.

The trash can finally cracked and I was forced to face the project of buying a new one.

I am a major pain in the ass consumer, I research and research and bug everybody til I find exactly the perfect most incredible awesome product.

I have moved into the new century in all it's glorious trash technology and purchased a Touchless Trash can...18 stainless steel gleaming high tech gallons with an Automatic sensor lid and wheels and flashing lights and omigod it looks like R2D2.....

...my days are complete now.....

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