I am the summer solstice baby,my birthday was Saturday (wait for applause) and that's the time of year I do all my annual exams, so can we talk....about mammograms?
Above is the picture of the torture chamber that is a mammogram imaging machine. It looks like something out of a sadistic tomato smasher from hell.
You place your breast on the lower shelf of the machine and the shelf above it comes down and smashes your precious breast, hard angles and all. The technician calls it compression, I call it smashing my breast down against a hard edge and where the hell did you get the compression bullshit?
You do it twice for Manny AND Moe and then you get to do it sideways.
This machine is no doubt was invented by a male engineer.
Can I say something here?
My boobs are ROUND not square, there are no right angles on my boobs unless I'm wearing a Jean-Paul-Gautier-made-for-Madonna bra, okay?
Make a machine that fits my boooooobs!
Because, I know for sure that if men had to have the same proceedure done to their cojones or penises, they wouldn't use THAT machine....so let's be fair guys, give us something round, just like our wonderful boobs,
or, we won't let you touch them anymore.
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2 comments:
My darling bride who, by the way has wonderful boobs, just had a mamogram. She had a call back which frightened the be-jesus out of her. But all's well. Because of the new digital way of doing mamograms which I'm told, are not so brutal, many MDs and Tech misread them, causing more second calls than usual.
Ask around about the new and improved, I'm told, not smasher boob examiner.
Kudos to your bride for being an aware woman and haveing a mammogram.
The Lorad Imaging machine shown in the photo is a digital machine and a boob smasher.
It picked up something on me also, which we followed up with a sonogram and all things are good.
The digital images are so clear that doctors are seeing density that they never have seen before.
But it still smashes the boobs!
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