I'm a Bonehead

Okay I'm a bonehead and I'm not afraid to tell.

Well actually I have no choice...there's no hiding it.

I had my oil changed today and normally I go to the dealer but I'm in a hurry , so, I go to Jiffy Lube...now Jiffy Lube is the place you take your teenager when he starts to get bad grades and threatens to drop out of school.

Why? Because you can tell him this is where he will end up working for the rest of his life if he doesn't get a high school/college education.

It's like that movie "Scared Straight" for white Suburban soccer moms.

But I digress...I always watch them like a hawk and make sure they aren't stealing my Diana Krall cd or my big honkin' pig sticker knife I keep in the door pocket in case I need to cut myself out of my seat belt....go ahead, I'll wait while you stop laughing.

Then I have to sit through the sales pitch of things they could do to my car if I was only willing to open up my wallet and shake it. That's when I say pertly "No thank you , just an oil change today."

When they are done, ewww, touching my car all over and banging things and getting in and out of it , they drive it outside with the windows down and let it sit inches away from major traffic... while I pay and try to watch the car and my wallet at the same time.

Are you getting the drift that I am a hyper-vigilant?

Are you getting that this exercise may tweak me a bit?

Can you picture my quick glances from car to wallet, car to wallet, car to wallet?

Okay.

SO I am finally , mercifully, released from the bonds of the guy at the register who marvels in my all cash transaction...like I'm using my debit card THERE?

I head out to my car, which is sitting there windows down, did I say it was inches away from major traffic, and I get in and can't raise my window...

click click, the other windows don't raise either...

I check the lock-window button, nothing...

I head back in to Jiffy Lube and ask for help..."Maybe you guys bumped something while you were near the battery, maybe you bumped the, the fuse box and the windows won't work"...

the one oil change tech follows me outside....

tries the window buttons, looks into the car then at me and says, as nice as he can ,now mind you..

"Turn your car on."

...