Advice...

Any heel over 2 inches is knee surgery waiting to happen.

Always choose a black background on your blog , it goes with everything and makes you look thinner.

Call everybody "Hon".

Drive a pick up truck.

Red lipstick will get you noticed, the wrong way. It looks like you did your lips at the morgue.

Because you are in invisible, eavesdrop every possible chance you get.

No one notices the spinach in between your teeth.

Cut in line at TJ Maxx., act like you are in early stages of Alzheimer's.

The larger the necklace , the more invisible.

Blonde is the new gray.

Forget stuff for fun.

Animal prints make you look like an old pet.

Please, no more boots with high heels . It looks like you're trying too hard.


Remember we are not desperate, just despots.