Uh, nevermind about that trip to England...

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/news/news.html?in_article_id=511220&in_page_id=1770&ct=5



.....

Amazing graze.

I gotta go to England again soon, interesting things happen there and they are always keen on acknowledging it.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/news/news.html?in_article_id=510372&in_page_id=1770

.....

Ain't no Sunshine When She's Gone.

Finally a movie out of Canada that I want to see!


http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20080125/od_uk_nm/oukoe_uk_women;_ylt=Ai_GMgE.BByosWcNmLIsRhoEtbAF

Keep writing those checks for private school....

This is Chad and Sully. Didn't we all have a Chad and Sully in our Ghosts of High School Past? They could end up as software gazillionares or hot tub salesmen, it can go either way.... but I like them in a dysfunctional motherly way, plus, I have to cut them major slack because of the song they are singing. Can you guess what it is?

http://youtube.com/watch?v=8mCtXMMSuPE

....

Sizing up the competition...

I had an "epiphany" of sorts today...I realized who the Invisa-Gals AREN'T invisible to.

We aren't invisible to each other!

We really stare at each other, size each other up, basically adding up the years and then grading each other on how "well maintained" we think we are.

It's like a system of 1 to 10, only backwards.

It usually starts with the thought "Not bad for 50"....

Then we assess how many Super Powers we have and the fun begins.

Unfortunately, this poor gal in the photo has yet to perfect her Super Power of Invisibility.

Super Power Award of the Week

Margo Foster, over 50 marathon runner, black belt in Karate, I salute you,

please don't hurt me....

http://www.sun-sentinel.com/news/local/broward/sfl-flbmarathoner20120sbjan20,0,152063.story

.....

Cringe and tell....

The website below was developed by someone with a rotten neighbor.

I feel his pain, completely.

You can go to the site and see what your neighbors say about you or add a rotten neighbor to the list. The Pittsburgh area has a few.

Go ahead, be "nebby".

I know , I know there is potential for falsehoods etc...but the truth always finds it's way.

http://www.rottenneighbor.com/

...

Hometown Haiku

A multiple choice!

I shout out answer, throw shoes.

Poor husband leaves room.

http://kdka.com/highq


......

Citizen Irate

For most of you under age 50, you may not know this
man. His name was Orson Welles, Oscar winning director,
producer , writer, actor and master broadcaster of War of the Worlds...His epic, Citizen Cane, the slightly veiled story of Randolph Hearst, was possibly the greatest movie of all time...such an incredible talent.

Later in life, he got a little cranky, he mostly made his living doing voice over work (please don't tell me he ever did Love Boat) and he showed his displeasure at his plight in the following recording session...warning:there's some nasty language. This recording has been floating about for years and for those in the business this is a treasured piece of audio and vicarious moment for many voice over artists:

http://www.dplay.com/audio/Orsonplay.htm

shout out to Market St.Sound in Pittsburgh....

Hit Me Baby One More Time !

I stumbled upon this info-junkie site:

http://www.stumbleupon.com/

Cloverfield the Movie/ oldtime scary monster stuff ala BlairWitch technique:

http://www.cloverfieldmovie.com/?gclid=CPf0_4izhZECFQV4HgodQFQlAg

Who thought watching commercials would be this fascinating?:

http://www.firebrand.com/

You need to watch this every morning and start your day with a smile, I have for a year:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5P6UU6m3cqk&feature=related

Tom Megalis so talented, Pittsburgher past and semi-present:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UYd1CxWcX9E

VHI's Celebrity ReHab, don't ask why, don't know why:

http://www.vh1.com/video/browse/index.jhtml?id=1790

Anthony Bourdain/No Reservations:

http://www.anthonybourdain.com/

Guilty pleasure, can't help it:

http://gofugyourself.typepad.com/

In Your Spare Time

I LOVE the New Yorker. One of my favorite moments in the magazine is when they ask you to create a caption for one of their cartoons....here's mine:

"..and then it waves back at you, just like my husband used to do before he disappeared."

http://www.cartoonbank.com/CapContest/CaptionContest.aspx?affiliate=ny-caption

Super Power Award of the Week

Okay, Oprah you win hands down. You manage to have an entire show talking about your Va-Jay-Jay that doesn't make me gag, you educate young poor girls in Africa, you have Marianne Williamson on your XM Radio show teaching a Course in Miracles everyday... and THEN ,Bam! You start your OWN television network.

http://www2.oprah.com/index.jhtml

May I remind everyone that you are indeed over 50...using your Super Powers for good. This is why God whispered in the ears of Cole Haan shoes to invent the really comfortable high heel shoe, so you suffer no more. You have been rewarded!

And now what can only be described as " the icing on the cake of your life" , you win the Invisa-Gal Super Power Award of the Week.

Shall we see no end to your ecstasy?

Sibling cutlery

Click on the words Sibling Cutlery above to view video....

I call it what I want...

I hate the word "menopause" , doesn't it sounds like men get a break or something? Because that would be a BIG LIE.

Have you noticed that everyone going through it feels compelled by some inner bitch to scare you with the symptoms ? I wish they would tell it to the support group, I'll be there soon enough whining louder than the rest of them. It's just that the word "menopause" sounds so , so ,Greek and medical with liver spots all over it.

I want to start calling it "The Back Nine",

it's a wonderful golf term that means you're making the turn from the first nine holes to the last nine holes in an 18 hole round of golf.

The back nine is my favorite part of golf, so it's now my favorite part of life.

I call it what I want, I have super powers dammit,

I'm on The Back Nine.

Important definitions...

Aging Ingenue

Aging Gnu

The non Catholic future...

This was the home for Aged Protestant Women in Pittsburgh,
no shit.

As a severely lapsed Episcopalian, I find a weird kind of comfort in all of this.


There is a ton of stuff being auctioned off from here at http://www.dargate.com/
my favorite items are the rocking chairs with "Home for Aged Protestants"
stamped on the back.
I need those on my veranda, so Cookie can bring me some cucumber sandwiches cut into little triangles.

Invisa-Gal Super power cape

Here's what I'm talkin' about ...remember Martha being released from jail...she was feeling the Invisa-Gal thing for sure,

we had yet to really understand HER superpowers...so she has on a cape (okay ,again, it's a poncho) like any respectable superpower havin' gal over fifty would wear.

Remember, with your Super Powers,you are all just 3 degrees of phone dialing to get Springsteen concert tickets, the Governator's cell number, signed Steeler jerseys for your kids,the best cardiac surgeon's name,the biggest pit bull divorce lawyer, free ski passes, anything you need.

You are just coming into your zone, use it wisely, oh aging ingenues, and never use it for evil unless there are serious carbs involved.

Who loves you ? (and your credit card)

LaBriola's Italian Store

Car dealers

Hackers
Nursing home administrators (for your parents,but you're not far behind)
Attorneys
The dorky neighbor kid who's ignored by his Gen X mother
Fund raisers at the school
College recruiters
Armed Forces Recruiters
Major advertisers
Nutri System
The entire state of Florida
The Gap, Old Navy,American Eagle
Itunes
Your dog not your cat
Flannel shirt makers
Tradesmen
Homeopaths
Presidential Candidates
Realtors
the birds not the squirrels
The makers of Depends (again, for the parents)
Plastic surgeons
Loofah brush makers
Lane freakin Bryant
Liz Claiborne
Cell phone providers
Duracell
Turbo Jam
Lancome
Oprah Oprah Oprah


You are invisible but viable......

Advice...

Any heel over 2 inches is knee surgery waiting to happen.

Always choose a black background on your blog , it goes with everything and makes you look thinner.

Call everybody "Hon".

Drive a pick up truck.

Red lipstick will get you noticed, the wrong way. It looks like you did your lips at the morgue.

Because you are in invisible, eavesdrop every possible chance you get.

No one notices the spinach in between your teeth.

Cut in line at TJ Maxx., act like you are in early stages of Alzheimer's.

The larger the necklace , the more invisible.

Blonde is the new gray.

Forget stuff for fun.

Animal prints make you look like an old pet.

Please, no more boots with high heels . It looks like you're trying too hard.


Remember we are not desperate, just despots.

aging ingenue and the 5 finger discount

Turning 50, whoa.

I am now officially invisible. I think it started around 47.

I used to be the the highly visible babe, but slowly, quietly, through raising children, working stressful jobs, taking care of elderly parents, it hit....invisible.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not whining. ... I get it, I now have super powers.

I am Invisa-Gal.

I wear a cape (okay it's a poncho) not because I'm hiding fat, it's in case I need to fly off to solve some problem, like who gets to use the Wii first or where's the dog's leash or which Medicare part D program should my friend chose for her father?

Being invisible has it's perks:

1. I can shoplift

2. No need to use the lintbrush on the velvet pants, no one is looking.

3. It doesn't matter if I put on makeup to walk down the street, no one is looking = no one sees me.

4. I can indeed blow my nose at the red light and check for boogers in my rear view mirror.


See what I mean? Perks is perks.