Boomer bodies and pool parties

Please don't invite me to your pool party, of course unless it’s at night and below 55 degrees.

Otherwise I’ll have to resort to wearing a mumu, caftan or shroud.

I’m not interested in cavorting (boomer word) in my anti-two-piece or giving you retinal damage from my whiter than white skin.

Nor do I want to participate in the sociological study of Boomer men staring at the daughter of the host who still has an intact body. Although when they all suck in their guts as she walks by, and then let out their collective beer bellies to original  senior status...it’s worthy of generating a meme with a snarky comment like “Yeah we still got it, for 10 seconds...”

Please dear ones don't send me into a social interaction with my weakest characteristic leading the way...never. I am (if I do say so myself) a master at conversational repartee, but if you are concentrating on my age spots, you will miss all my charm.

As for ladies of my same age who rock a good physique, you look lovely dears, but because you can fit into a bikini, doesn't mean you should. It’s like seeing an octogenarian with a Hello Kitty purse; cute but not quite right, right?

So please invite me for a round of golf, dinner, spicy Uno ...but not to your daytime pool party. I’m a grown up and usually invisible, except when I am a placed as a glaring physical  comparison to a Millenial who has already made a joke about my lack of tech knowledge and referred to me as “Karen”.

Let’s use our  superpowers to always position ourselves in the best light (which btw is not fluorescent  overheads) and operate from the lofty perch we worked so hard to climb upon, and give me a minute to catch my breath before we burst into laughter again how those pesky youngster have no idea how to dial a rotary phone.