Labor pains...

Invisi-Gal is very upset...as of today, over 729 organizations have been granted waivers from participating in Obama Care.

Ex-squeeze me?

Looks like they are mostly unions and quite a few from ... hold your heart now dear reader.. the CHICAGO area!

Invisi-Gal wants to know why she can't get a waiver ... ooops maybe I didn't vote for the right person... mmm, how do they know .. they seem to know union members did.

Wow, what a perceptive group of people...

Read and weep:

http://michellemalkin.com/2011/01/28/waivers-for-favors-big-labors-obamacare-escape-hatch/

Why are we letting this happen?

And why, while I'm at it, are we letting the government legislate what light bulbs we buy?

Maybe to keep us in the dark....so we can't see what is right in front of our faces?

......

The Evolution of Crushes

My very first crush , about age 5 , was on my dad...I wanted to marry him, he could build me shelves for my Barbies and fix my bike ... my mother told me I could have him ... and all his laundry too.

Age 7 , definitely Paul McCartney...the Beatles had invaded America, I wrote him a fan letter and invited him to dinner...just don't bring Ringo.

Somewhere in between, I thought Ken was pretty cute, although a bit plastic...but he did exactly what I told him to do, and I liked that.

By 10, (1967) I was torn between Davey Jones of the Monkees (it was a Brit thing) and Carl Yastremski....he was left handed like me and that pretty much ended at that.

Junior High school found me turning my crushes in towards my own social strata...the football captains and the errant bad boys both had my heart. In a bit of James Dean vs. Johnny Unitas.

By high school, it was James Taylor and when I was feeling rebellious, Jim Morrison...but a word of warning, never have a crush on a man whose hair is nicer than yours, or a smaller butt, it can only breed contempt.

In my twenties, I stopped having crushes on unattainable men, and developed crushes on guys my age ...mostly musicians, and romantic poetry writers... they all were jobless, aimless and I saw that as freedom..instead of just dumb.

Although somewhere in there there was a bodybuilder, Corvette driving insurance salesman (he did play guitar)... but I think that was an extension of Ken.

In my 30's , my crushes turned to men who had some kind of power, politically, financially, socially... I knew by then, that money was a bit more important , especially in the shoe department...'nuff said.

Tick, tick, tick, what's that?? Ohh the ol' biological clock.... it hits big time in the early 40's...if you haven't conceived by then... plus the sing song voice of your mother saying "A woman only has so many eggs, dear"... starts resonating in your ears like a stadium horn....

sooo the crushes go to good breeding and fatherly stock.... Mel Gibson (pre Oksana) and Harrison Ford, and of course Paul McCartney, whose loving, monogamous, musical, progeny heavy, marriage to Linda was the bomb!

Now I am in my 50's, and gone away are all the romantic ideals...and I am faced with the stark reality that all I really need is a man who can plumb a toilet and find the stud in the wall to hang my new mirror

...they have all been replaced by Mike Holmes

...that's right gals, that's what it comes down to, a crew cut overall wearin' Canadian handyman. He fixes everything and gives you a big hug and leaves.

So now we have come full circle haven't we, we just want our daddies after all...

all that money wasted on therapy, you could've just read this.

....

The Green Turtleneck...and other things I can't find.

We live in a house that measures around 2000 Sq.feet...not tiny but not a McMansion by any stretch...there are only 3 of us and I am pretty organized.

So why, WHY, can't I find my green turtleneck sweater?

I'll tell you why, because I live in a state of unconsciousness ... auto-pilot so to speak.

As a female I multi-task like a whirling dervish... that's why women make such good news producers, they can write, edit, take a phone call while making a comment to someone down the hall and get the story live on the air , no problem.

It dates back to the hunter, gatherer, raise the little Neanderthals, and kick that sabre tooth in the butt, gene pool. We are meant to multi task...

which means we are masters of the dual circuitry in the brain that teaches, and moves. Cognitive and action, one takes over as needed...here I'll let the experts e'splain:

http://www.livescience.com/health/brain-habit-learning-autopilot-100609.html

Which brings me back to my green turtleneck...I know already that it's somewhere in this house, and unless the dog has decided she looks better in green than in brown, then I am the culprit.

We do so many things on auto-pilot...driving being one...how many times have you been so deep in thought as you drove to a familiar destination, to find yourself there and parked before you can blink?

How any times have you checked a email or text (that required an action from you) in the middle of doing something else, only to see it a day a later and cringe at your in-action?

Once again, we are brought back to the turtleneck; I know in the process of the mundane ( as in laundry) the mind wanders...perhaps to a sunny golf-course in a day dream, and the folding and putting away is on auto....and my concern for my green turtleneck is waylaid until I want to wear it...as in TODAY!

This is were it gets fun...

I need to retrace in my mind, the last time I wore it and if I had travelled during then and will it involve a phone call to see if I left it somewhere...once again solidifying my forgetful base.

I search all the usual places, once twice and three times until I FIND IT, right there, on top of the dryer under the mess I call my son's, I-can't-find-my-dresser-or -I-would-put-these-things-away pile....and I want you to know, I looked there two times already.

So apparently my COGNITIVE part of my brain was not in charge while my body was in ACTION on auto pilot looking for the green freakin' turtleneck.

And the lesson in all of this?

Well, it has nothing to do with memory, dear reader...

so sorry for the red herring....

Nooooo, it has to do with career choices...

because this is exactly why I do what I do and NOT work in a nuclear power facility, because you never want to hear me say...

"Did I remember to cool the rods in the core today?".

.....

Odds n' Ends....

Invisi-Gal is the original touch screen maven...I had a Treo back when that was the ONLY touch screen phone on the market...now I am an iPhone robot and I am so glad this problem has been solved:

http://www.agloves.com/

------------------------------------------------------

I am addicted to Le Crueset cookware...but I am a savvy shopper and buy it majority discounted at TJ Maxx or Marshall's...I use it for everything, and the fact that it is soooo heavy just means that Invisi-Gal gets a mini-work out in the kitchen!

http://www.lecreuset.com/

------------------------------------------------------

Thanks to a sharp cookie who comments on this blog, I have been able to locate the book of poems from my childhood....if I could only find my old Barbie corvette, I would really be complete.

http://search.barnesandnoble.com/The-Best-Loved-Poems-of-the-American-People/Hazel-Felleman/e/9780385000192

------------------------------------------------------

Invis-Gal is cleaning house in many ways, especially when it comes to people who act like jackals or just plain cranky people...so reading this book may help:

http://www.drlaura.com/index.php/eng/Books/Books-By-DrLaura/Surviving-a-Shark-Attack-On-Land-Overcoming-Betrayal-and-Dealing-with-Revenge-Dr.-Laura

-------------------------------------------------------

This show actually looks funny, Invisi-Gal may have to watch and eat chips n' dip:

http://www.wetv.com/joan-and-melissa

_________________________________

and lastly, cabin fever is striking deep right now, and it's either redo the bathroom or start in on some early spring cleaning:

http://www.marthastewart.com/article/spring-cleaning-checklist

Those are the odds n' ends...the New Year is now for real and I was thinking , aside from learning ball room dancing, this would be a good year to break some old habits and start some new ones...

since according to my son's entire middle school that 2102 is the End of the World...

well I usually don't take advice from people wearing braces, but they seem sooo sincere....so I might as well get on with whatever I was supposed to get on with.

So....on with it then!

...

Don't ask why I know this one....

I am going through the poems I learned as a child and recited in the kitchen with my mom, this was one of her favorites, I get a feeling it was something she had to learn in college...I will tell you, as a child, I hated the big words , as Invisi-gal I still hate the big words, but it creeps me out a wee bit.

It strikes me as a poem used by med students to remember sterilization techniques and now possibly by bacteria-phobes....

Strictly Germ Proof by Arthur Guiterman written in 1916

The Antiseptic Baby and the Prophylactic Pup
Were playing in the garden when the Bunny gamboled up;
They looked upon the Creature with a loathing undisguised;—
It wasn't Disinfected and it wasn't Sterilized.

They said it was a Microbe and a Hotbed of Disease;
They steamed it in a vapor of a thousand-odd degrees;
They froze it in a freezer that was cold as Banished Hope
And washed it in permanganate with carbolated soap.

In sulphurated hydrogen they steeped its wiggly ears;
They trimmed its frisky whiskers with a pair of hard-boiled shears;
They donned their rubber mittens and they took it by the hand
And elected it a member of the Fumigated Band.

There's not a Micrococcus in the garden where they play;
They bathe in pure iodoform a dozen times a day;
And each imbibes his rations from a Hygienic Cup—
The Bunny and the Baby and the Prophylactic Pup.

....

More poems I learned as a child...

The Twins by Henry Sambrooke Leigh

In form and feature, face and limb, I grew so like my brother, That folks got taking me for him, And each for one another. It puzzled all our kith and kin, It reached a fearful pitch; For one of us was born a twin, Yet not a soul knew which. One day, to make the matter worse, Before our names were fixed, As we were being washed by nurse, We got completely mixed; And thus, you see, by fate's decree, Or rather nurse's whim, My brother John got christened me, And I got christened him. This fatal likeness even dogged My footsteps when at school, And I was always getting flogged, For John turned out a fool. I put this question, fruitlessly, To everyone I knew, "What would you do, if you were me, To prove that you were you?" Our close resemblance turned the tide Of my domestic life, For somehow, my intended bride Became my brother's wife. In fact, year after year the same Absurd mistakes went on, And when I died, the neighbors came And buried brother John.

Some things never leave us.

I've been thinking and thinking about what to write today...hoping in some way that another cup of coffee may contain the necessary jolt to set the words in motion.

You see, today is my mom's birthday. If she were still here, she would be 81 years young.

She's been gone now 3 years, and I have been keeping a list of all the things I wanted to ask her.

It's a funny list full of unrelated questions like:

What ever happened to the needle point purses we made in the 70's?

and , what age were you when you were diagnosed with diabetes ?

the other day I was trying to remember a poem she taught me about courage and persistence...I used to recite it for her in the kitchen...it was a light hearted romp of a poem, easy enough for a 10 year old to memorize, but filled with a deeper message that I hold tight to this day...along with If by Kipling and a slew of others....

HERE'S THE POEM, I FOUND IT ONLINE!

IT COULDN’T BE DONE

POEM VIEWS: 47734

Forced to drop out of high school to help support his family, Edgar A. Guest started his long career at theDetroit Free Press as a

.

BY EDGAR ALBERT GUEST

Somebody said that it couldn’t be done

But he with a chuckle replied

That “maybe it couldn’t,” but he would be one

Who wouldn’t say so till he’d tried.

So he buckled right in with the trace of a grin

On his face. If he worried he hid it.

He started to sing as he tackled the thing

That couldn’t be done, and he did it!

Somebody scoffed: “Oh, you’ll never do that;

At least no one ever has done it;”

But he took off his coat and he took off his hat

And the first thing we knew he’d begun it.

With a lift of his chin and a bit of a grin,

Without any doubting or quiddit,

He started to sing as he tackled the thing

That couldn’t be done, and he did it.

There are thousands to tell you it cannot be done,

There are thousands to prophesy failure,

There are thousands to point out to you one by one,

The dangers that wait to assail you.

But just buckle in with a bit of a grin,

Just take off your coat and go to it;

Just start in to sing as you tackle the thing

That “cannot be done,” and you’ll do it.

Thanks mom, I needed that.....

Let's get this party started! Ban everything!

Invisi-gal thinks this photo may incite people to choke Steelers or their fans, the violent imagery is most UNCIVIL .

The photographer should be held accountable if any one gets hurt , right?

Oh, and Invisi-Gal heard all sorts of trash talk on Sports Talk Radio, I think there should be a law passed so they can't do that anymore, right?

http://newyork.cbslocal.com/2011/01/14/no-love-lost-between-jets-patriots-

Come on, let's get this party started, be sure to invite BigBrother, and wear a name tag !

.....

Finger pointin' 101

Welcome to the Sheriff Clarence Dupnik's full blown course of "Finger Pointin' 101"

Today we will learn how to divert attention from your own complicity, and throw it at a non related person, place or thing.

IE: "The butler did it!" or my favorite "The Tea Party did it!"

FP101 will teach you how to stall for time while you backtrack secretly over your own incompetence by appearing on TV and radio repeatedly.

If you act now, we will give you a list of inaccurate facts and a free copy of "Political Bias, My Perfect Party".

No need to investigate a crime here, conjecture will get you what you want...a media lynch mob is ready and waiting , just point to the RIGHT!

This full comprehensive course will show you how to build smoke screen that not even your own town can see through...it's exciting to see how much we can manipulate the press!

Be sure to dishonor the dead by making your own political agenda known...why focus on the lives and loves of those lost? Your political agenda is much more important than that...isn't it?

And finally, be sure to make this ALL ABOUT YOU....

because eventually, they will find out, you knew all about madman Jared Loughner and did NOTHING to stop him from harming someone in your community.

We hope you enjoyed our Finger pointin' 101....please enjoy further reading of this insider's blog, The Cholla Jumps, it helps to have the facts:

http://thechollajumps.wordpress.com/2011/01/09/jared-loughner-is-a-product-of-she

....

Crisis,Opportunity,Finger Pointing and the death of Christina Taylor Green

I expected the rants, the rhetoric, the finger pointing, that's what we have become...

The horrible tragedy we, as a nation, witnessed yesterday in the shooting of Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords and 19 others at a community event at a Safeway in Tuscon Az. has become a lighting rod for those who turn sometimes unexplainable tragedies into a political springboard.

I refuse to read FB rants, and have deleted certain, "news sources" from my bookmarks because of their flagrant and self-serving agenda attachments to this tragic and sorrowful moment.

If we are to examine the root of this evil act, we need to take a look at the history of the assailant Jared Loughner's mental illness.

He was troubled enough to be rejected by the military, kicked out of Pima County Community College for irrational outbursts (not to return without a mental health clearance), and plastered his insane rants on You Tube and My Space...he exhibits similar behavior to Seung-Hui Cho who shot and killed 32 innocent people at Virginia Tech, or Theodore John "Ted" Kaczynski, the Unabomber who killed 3 people with bombs.

They publicly ranted, their families were aware of their illness, and they were signs of disturbed minds...however, because these men were over the age of 18, there was no responsibility (legally) on their parents and certainly little the law could do until they acted out.

Here is a link to a disturbing record of his actions at PCCC, by a fellow student...it was clear he was about to do something violent, and he slipped through the cracks...

http://voices.washingtonpost.com/44/2011/01/jared-loughners-behavior-recor.html

These kind of sick individuals have no problem attaining, guns, or knives, swords, or the means to build bombs, and no amount of legislation will stop it.

This is not a clarion call for gun control (how do we stop mentally ill folks from owning guns if we refuse to legally acknowledge their condition)...you will not stop a Jared Loughner or a gang banger for that matter from getting a gun... you will however, stop me from being able to get one to protect myself from the aforementioned.

What we need to do is carefully examine the issues of mental illness...in the mid 80's we witnessed the closing of mental institutions all over the US, somewhat a fall out of the Mental Health Systems Act...we needed to review how we treated the mentally ill, and at the same time in a most unintended way, allowed a runaway train effect to happen.

One cannot tell exactly whose rights are protected, those who live a sane and just life, or those who clearly exhibit severe anti-reality/social behavior and have no mechanism with which to cope.

They need little or nothing to incite them to violence, whichever way the wind blows is a good enough excuse...ie: Charles Manson was incited to murder listening the to the Beatles song, Helter Skelter.

This is a scary slippery slope and one of great controversy, for it is clear that Jared Loughner was having an extremely difficult time coping with life in general. Is it more merciful to him or us to separate him from society before he acts out...and how do we determine if and when he will act out and who is to say he (or any one like him) ever will?

This is all food for thought and I’m cautiously hopeful we stay focused and calm and stop turning this into red versus blue as usual crap….

Rep. Giffords was a perfect example of working across the aisle...a supporter of both Conservative and Liberal issues, a self described Blue Dog Democrat.

Jared Loughner , in his twisted mind, felt a need to snuff out her light....and those near her.

He had no real focused political agenda, he was fascinated by Communism, he was a self described Atheist, and an Anti-Semite, he was a 911 Truther who hated George Bush, his leanings were akin to Neo Nazi, but basically it was all irrational and insane...why he targeted Rep. Gabrielle Giffords is beyond any of us....perhaps her being Jewish and a beautiful woman, stirred something in him, who knows and so far he isn’t talking while in custody.

Why 9 year old Christina Taylor Green , who among others at the event, had to die too makes no sense. Her courageous mother, in an interview this morning was clear to point out, we need to make a change in how we deal with the mentally insane.

Please don't rush to me with comments about depression, and anxiety...this isn't what I am talking about. I'm talking about full-blown mental illness, when a person cannot differentiate reality from fantasy.

While there is no doubt that Jared Loughner premeditated this massacre, his motives behind it were insane and irrational.

There was no reason for this and no explanation for it...and turning it into a political gain as in "an opportunity" ala the famous Rahm Emmanuel quote is self serving and diminishes the greater aspect of it all.

Finger pointing is better left aimed at your own mirror right now...

and maybe, if you are so inclined, press those hands together and say a prayer for all the victims of this sorrowful moment.

Politics has no place here, it is unwanted and unseemly.

Between me and the Mack truck

Allow me to begin my story with the moment I had before I left the house this morning.

As an aging ingenue, I know that accessories matter more than showing leg...so I change purses,scarves and shoes often...I know I know, I'm the only one who notices...and that's who I'm trying to impress anyway.

As I was putting essentials in my purse; raw sugar packets freshly stolen from Starbucks, lipstick, reading glasses...I grabbed my insurance card and held it in my hand for a moment as a voice said "You might need this today".....

Now, I am old enough to listen to that voice...I fought it for years, thought it was my alter ego, who I was never properly introduced to. Now I know, it's divine, it's the whisper of God or my overworked guardian angel...I listen to it and never doubt it.....so on with my story:

One would think at the age of 54 (no I'm not really, yes I am really) that I would have seen almost every idiotic thing a human being can do in traffic.

Until today.

The snow was falling steadily this morning so I thought, better get out there and get your stuff done before the idiots do... apparently, as you will read ahead, Invisi-gal was about a minute too late on that one.

I was driving on a busy 3 lane highway, in the middle lane, all lanes were busy and filled with traffic, and moving at a steady pace....there were cars directly in front of me and a big Mack truck behind me.

I had a fleeting thought that I should get into the left lane...I don't like it when big trucks are behind me...they don't stop well and whiplash collars don't look good on me.

The road was slick and covered with fresh snow and a car was starting to pass on my left so, I decided to stay put in my lane....then it happened.

The car, two cars in front of me, who shall now until eternity be referred to as the Idiot Car, stopped dead in the middle lane and put it's right turn signal on to cross over the right lane to turn off the road.....

Refresh my memory here....is't it ILLEGAL to make a right turn off a 3 lane highway from the MIDDLE lane?

Shouldn't they, if they aren't an Idiot Car, merely merge onto the right lane and exit from there?

Okaaay , just checkin'....

The car in front of me slammed on his brakes and started skidding into the stopped Idiot Car and I hit my brakes and started skidding towards the car in front of me...and the Big Mack Truck behind me started skidding towards me....

in a blinding flash, I reacted.... after a quick assessment that went like this:

"did that car pass me on the left yet,sh*t here comes that truck, is there anyone in the left lane, sh*t here comes that truck, well I'd rather broadside someone than be sandwiched between a Mack-sh*t-here-comes-that- truck and the car in front of me, so I'm ditching left RIGHT NOW!"

My darling Invisi-gal chariot lept into the left lane without skidding -I love you forever all wheel drive- and the Mack truck, now blaring it's horn, skidded right up to the bumper of the car that was once in front of me...by now everyone on the highway was blaring their horns at the supreme Idiot Car trying to make a right turn from the center lane.

Had I not been almost jazzed by the NEAR MISS moment of just barely becoming united in accidental marriage to a Mack Truck...I would have turned my car around , found the Idiot Car no doubt pulled over on the right side of the road and unleashed the wrath and eloquent profanity of the daughter of a WWII Marine Veteran....I am told one can see colors in the torrent of the words that rain down at those moments.

But, I kept driving and found myself instead, mid "Thank you Lord"...which I said over and over....as I patted my newly changed purse that held my insurance card.

I'm not sure what the fall out was from that whole crazy moment, but I do know the truck cleared it's way through because as I did the I'm -kinda -in -shock -old -lady -crawl up the road clinging to the left lane, and my religion I might add...the Mack truck passed me on the right...and we waved at each other....survivors of the Idiot Car Event.

I am breathing, I thought...not crushed between a Mack Truck and someone's back seat...I live another day, to love my husband and child ... I even hugged the devil dog when I got home.

Just like the old Calvin Klein commercial "Nothing between me and my Calvins"...I can say with great certainty, there was nothing between me and that Mack truck...

except

one

big

wonderful

God.

.....

Here we go again...

Dear University of Pittsburgh and Ex Coach Haywood's Baby Mamma,

Here is the definition of vetting, please use it in the future.

Yours truly,

Invisi-Gal

vetting

Definition:

Formal and thorough examination (usually by an expert)prior to grant of approval or clearance.

OWN it big or go home.

Invisi-gal would like to know, is there another poet on this planet besides Maya Angelou?

How often must we witness the trainwreck called The Judds?

If you wanted to brainwash a culture would you put the same thing on radio as you do on television and magazines?

That is the feeling I get from the new Oprah Winfrey Network...every guest, host, friend from her TV show and radio channel are now the very SAME people on her new network on Discovery.

I watched the soft launch yesterday and it felt like a 24 hour episode of the Oprah show/radio/magazine...Dr.Oz was there, Suzie Orman, Dr.Phil...the whole fam damily!

Regurgitation after regurgitation of the same ol' thing...yawn, blink blink.

"This is the way to think , my people"...because it's the same message by the same people with the same opinions about the same everything...nothing new, no variety, same same same...your olive drab uniform will be issued to you at the gate my people...step this way just like me...

I was thrown by the low budget programming, just like anything else you can see on Discovery channel or other channels for that matter...I held on tight to the remote in fear the "I was Pregnant and Didn't Know it" show would be the 6pm show....just in time for dinner....yum...

I cringe at the thought of the new reality shows that will be created for OWN like "You are The Most Important Person Ever", or "Abortion Clinic Escorts: Warriors of Suction", or the most coveted "My Pain is Greater Than Yours, Let's Put it all on the Air".

Did I actually hear that this was "smart " programming... I searched for the IQ criteria in that statement...really...shoving the same people, places and things down my throat is smart?

Well maybe to a propagandist.

Oprah needs to own OWN big time, take some risks out of the comfort food zone and go big ... show me something I don't know and most importantly something she doesn't know...

She knows her power...what other media force was able to get a partime Senator/Oprah Bookclub author elected president?

So the question is, will she continue to play along that party line ( I guarantee her Liberal like minded auto-trons are ga-ga over her new channel) pushing agendas in the form of entertainment, or will she really open it up to the challenge of all things possible....and not only possible if Gayle, or Dr.Oz, or Marianne WIlliamson say so?

The best part of the programming was a glimpse of her walking into her studios and I got a tear thinking about the dreams of a young overweight black girl from Tennessee with a background of hurt, who came so far to this point...I appreciate that, I appreciate that becoming the force she is came at a great personal price...but her message is becoming too uniform and I'm feeling a little manipulated by the same voices.

Still waiting for the wow, aha moment.

Nothing new under the sun...

OWNership sure can be a byotch.

....