Ants in my Pants no more....

The "Bug Guy" is coming tomorrow, I hate using pesticides but we have to do a perimeter spray on our house each summer since we live in the woods...yes we are people of the forest.

We have ants the size of Texas, they will pick you up and carry you to their Queen.

What does this all mean?

It means, since the Bug Guy will be spraying , I will take my precious Invisi-Gal self out and ..............

PLAY GOLF!

Have a great day, see you on the back nine.

....

HBO stands for...

Horrible Buying Ordeal....

I am like every other idiot who waitied for the last minute to get something for my dad (who lives in New Jersey poor thing) for Father's Day...it's not because I'm a bad daughter, although that has always been up for review, it's because my dad at 84 years old has everything he's ever going to need.

I thought I found the perfect gift, in fact it came to me on TV last night as HBO advertised the John Adams series on DVD.."there's still time to order for Father's Day... free shipping!"...ohhh I hit the late shopper's motherlode....I would have sworn this was divine intervention.

My dad loves history, especially anything to do with the Revolution, he doesn't have HBO so he hasn't seen this, and I can get it there on time!

Before I order, I do the savvy thing, I check the other websites, it's cheaper but backordered everywhere else, so I go the the HBO website, it's available for overnight shipping...VICTORY IS MINE!

I place the order, I am super shopper Invisi-Gal, then BAM!

I get an email from HBO thanking me for my "advanced order" of John Adams which is on back order and will ship ...uh, whenever but not on Father's Day.....

super-shopper-Invisi-Gal sits motionless...

dashed from victory to village idiot in a single email,

I am screwed, I keep the offer and dash off a card to my dad telling him I'm sorry his gift will be late yada yada yada...bad daughter status rising.

HBO advertised an item, enticing me for Father's Day delivery, when it wasn't even in their warehouse....bad bad corporation.

As I explainded to the very patient "supervisor" on the phone,

"I know you don't care about me, you deal in so much volume...but the truth is, this dvd cost as much as a tank of gas these days, and everyone is very aware of how their money is spent, and NOW is not the time to be messing with that and I will be sure to tell folks that HBO

isn't truthful in their advertising."

Just like I did right now.

.

Well, duh....

MAJOR INCREASE IN HEAD INJURIES NOTED AFTER REPEAL OF PENNSYLVANIA’S MOTORCYCLE HELMET LAW

PITTSBURGH, June 12 – Pennsylvania motorcyclists suffered large increases in head injury deaths and hospitalizations in the two years following the repeal of its motorcycle helmet law, according to a University of Pittsburgh study to be published in the August issue of the American Journal of Public Health, available online June 12. Even after accounting for increases in motorcycle registrations that occurred during this period, study authors noted a 32 percent increase in head injury deaths and a 42 percent increase in head injury-related hospitalizations, raising concerns about motorcyclists’ safety and the impact of this trend on health care costs.

.....

Roll out the barrel...

I hope this guy is right, his article makes sense, simple economics really.

Check back in a few months and see if he's right:

http://money.cnn.com/2008/06/06/news/economy/tully_oil_bust.fortune/index.htm?cnn=yes

.....

Everyone's a Critic...

Apparently Timir had issues with art...

http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/08157/887676-100.stm

he keyed a painting (see above) worth over a million dollars at the Carnegie...caught on camera...he was a security guard there, WAS being the operative word.

Let's have coffee and I'll talk...

Okay Starbucks, you win, your new coffee drink has me completely addicted.

Double shot over ice with energy.

Just go easy on the syrup.

One grande of that baby and I am cleaning out closets, doing taxes, and re-arranging my make-up (just to break up) drawer, wow why did I ever buy that nail polish?

Invisi-Gal has one rule however, never call anyone after drinking, it'll be a oneway conversation.

Whew....

..

Invisi-moment at Borders Books today. I am really invisible when I travel with my 11 year old son. I am stealth, in my middle aged homogenized outfit.

You know how there is music always playing over the PA at Borders? Well I hear what sounds totally like Steve Winwood, but I want to be sure, so I ask the clerk with the hair badly sprayed in white streaks, and wearing all black and jingling chains and buckles that don't seem to be connecting or holding up anything....

"Excuse me, can you tell me who that is playing over your PA system?"

She looks me up and down, sizes me up, and then speaks into her headset to some person of knowledge and shoots back at me, "It's Elvis Costello."

"Elvis Costello ?", I question, "Wow, it doesn't sound anything like him, it really sounds like Steve Winwood. Are you sure it's Elvis Costello?"

Then I get the look.

Invisi-Gal hates this look.

It means, how the hell do you know who Elvis Costello is, aren't you from the John Tesh fan club?

I march away with my son in tow ( he knows that march) to find the person of knowledge at the info desk and inquire as to who is playing on the PA system.

She perkily says,"Steve Winwood, it's his new CD."

My first impulse is to head back to Streak Head and wave the Steve Winwood CD through the air and say while barking out, "Hey it's not Elvis Costello, it's Steve Winwood,just like I thought, maybe you had a bad connection on your headset due to all that non-essential metal on your body, but anyhoo by golly, thanks!"

Just then I hear my son's voice cut through my fantasy to declare, "Hey mom, you were right, that is Steve Winwood, go Mom!"

I walk away in transparent victory, the moment is mine. I spend the afternoon listening to the new Steve Winwood CD and playing my Nintendo .

Who's hip now?

....

You're fired, no, really.

http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/08156/887240-100.stm

...

Water Log...

Oh yes, it truly came out today, at the pool...(translate, bathing suit hell for Invisi-Gals) usually we go undetected, everyone is looking a the nubile ones.

Until I went in the water and did...THE SIDE STROKE otherwise known as the Indian or Trudgen Crawl....

No one under the age of 30 even knows what that is! Don't they teach it? Is it a swimming stroke due for extinction with the Baby Boomers?

I remember watching my mother do this stroke with her bathing cap (that had the floppy Carmen Miranda arrangement on it), her full make up, red lipstick and never, I mean never let her face touch the water. That's why women like it, no hair or makeup damage....and I thought it was the stroke for old ladies only, I mean who the hell doesn't want to get their hair wet...

Ooops, mirror mirror on the wall, I am my mother afterall...

I'm doing the Aging Ingenue Crawl...

...

The Measure of a Man...

The yardstick hasn't been invented with which to measure the content of this man's character. He now lives in glory, having died in victory.

I am saddened by the loss of him from this planet, however, I am lifted by his life's deeds.

You dig deep and see if you have half the courage of this young man, I am sure I don't. I will forever be in awe of Army Pfc..Ross McGinnis.

I know this is no comfort to his parents, yes he did die young, but he lived beyond us all. To see through his eyes, to know his heart would've been a lesson we all could learn.

http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/08154/886773-100.stm

Thank you Ross.

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