Don't Come Home Without a Deal

We are all trying to find ways to make the recession and the cost of gas work for us. We are using coupons, Giant Eagle fuelperks, creating recipes that last three days…etc.

So when the perfect storm of appliance breakdowns happened this month, I became Recession Master (really mistress, but it sounds so wrong). I decided to buy all things reconditioned, on sale , or scratch and dent.

First I bought a scratch and dent $1600.00 refrigerator on sale for $812.00…I did the bargain dance on that one…Sears Outlet, the most amazing assembly of appliances per square feet I have ever seen…I even eyed up a chainsaw, just because.

Next, I found a reconditioned lawn mower on the sidewalk at Lowe’s … I sent my husband to inspect it and buy it , using our fuelperks gift cards (we never purchase without them ) …we got it home and it wouldn’t start…hubby heads back to Lowe’s…they tell him since we used a Giant Eagle gift card we can only get a Lowe’s gift card in exchange for the mower….hubby does what hubby should always do in a retail pickle…

…he calls the Recession Master

…and it goes like this:

Hubby, “Hey I’m here at Lowes and they will only give me a Lowes gift card back on the mower”.

RM, “Really? Who sez?”.

Hubby, “The woman at the customer service desk”.

RM, “Do they have any mowers on sale?”

Hubby, “No…but there’s a nice..”

RM cuts him off like a bad spot on an apple…

“Well then, you go find the manager, tell him or her that the purchase with gift card return policy wasn’t explained to you and that your wife has eyed up a Craftsman mower at Sears (yes, I did) ON SALE.”

Hubby, “Okay, but… “

RM cuts him off again,

“Honey, don’t come home without a deal.”

Hubby proceeds to find the manager, wrangle him back to lawn mowers, and explain his position on gift card refunds.

The manager, a pleasant fellow named Scott, explains the refund policy, again…hubby makes it clear that it wasn’t made clear by the sales people or at purchase…

The sky parts, the rainbow appears, and the lawn mower sales guy who had been listening in, does the best drive by affirmation ever…”Wow, I didn’t know that was our policy either”.

Manager Scott gives him an I –wish-I-could-fire-you-right-here-right-now-look, then turns to my husband and says, “So what do you want to do?”

Hubby, “I want you to make me a deal on a lawn mower, and did you notice none of your mowers are on sale? My wife has already eyed up a Craftsman at Sears…”

Manager Scott, “Which one do you want?”

Hubby eyes up a nice rear propelled mower that costs well over $100 than the returned mower…”That one, what can you do on that one?”

Manager Scott, “Give me a dollar, over that return of the other mower and we’ll call it even…”

Hubby is happy and relieved, he can now go home having acquired a deal and he can’t wait to call the Recession Master to relay his story of retail victory…when Manager Scott leans in to him and says…

“And tell to your wife I don’t want her to go to Sears…”

So now, Lowes has built in brand loyalty, by showing us fairness and giving us the service of a mom and pop operation, and I am writing this for all to read….mission accomplished on all fronts.

Don’t you love when it all works out?

What Budget?

Well, yes, my husband and I have failed to come up with a workable budget.

Contrary to the scare tactics perpetrated by the the non cooking half of this partnership...The Invisi-Gal household will NOT come to a screeching halt...the mortgage will be paid, insurance will be paid, tuition will be paid.

However, Starbucks , The Apple Store and Overstock.com will suffer for at least 3 days until we can come to an agreement.

I will argue that coffee is a necessary tonic for the household to run smoothly and my husband will argue something about hard drives as I put my fingers into my ears and say "Lalalalala".

Manicures and brand new golf balls may become a thing of the past....instead, investment in a locking gas cap will be imminent.

We will remind ourselves, that as children of the 70's, we know a thing or two about Recessions and gas lines and cashing in the loose change from the couch cushions....and that the only ones who really dressed like it was the 70's were confined to members of the The Brady Bunch.

We will long for the entrepreneurial spirit ushered in with the collection of bottles for the two cent deposit and the Archie comic book it bought for only 25 of those cents.

But nothing will stop, life will just meander until it finds the path of least resistance to the end of each day....

...at which time we will watch programs like "Extreme Couponing" with a religious fervor once reserved for "Selling New York".

Once the budget has passed, my husband will declare victory while I motion silently behind him with a big nicely manicured "V", and sip my Starbucks, slowly.

....